Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion
by catcatcatcatcat
Summary: They're random, They're unrandom, They're random, They're unrandom, They're rando We should really stop Demyx... he might hurt himself... WINCE
1. Chapter 1

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Instructions 

**Featuring:** **Demyx, Axel **

**Axel: **I don't think that's the best way to--

**Demyx: **SHUT UP AXEL!

**Axel: **I'm telling you Demyx, if you're going to squish that thing in there you have to put in the other way…

**Demyx: **WHO CARES ON WHAT YOU THINK!

**Axel: **Zexion… Zexion… ZEXION!

**Zexion: **What the hell do you want?

**Axel: **Look! He's trying to stick _that_ through _there_!

**Demyx:** Which is right, see! Look at the instructions!

**Zexion: **Demyx… I think it would help if you read the instructions when it wasn't _upside down_…

**Demyx:** IT'S NOT UPSIDE DOWN! I CAN READ IT! SEE! _Insèrer A dans B_!

**Axel:** Great reading… IF YOU'RE RUSSIAN!

**Zexion: **That's French idiot.

**Axel: **Same difference.

**Zexion: **Well Demyx… It would help if you did step one _first_…

**Marluxia:** Hey guys! Have you finished making those smoothies? We've given you two days and we're kinda getting hungry…


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion 

**Title: Shish kabobs**

**Featuring: Xaldin, Zexion, Demyx **

**Demyx:** I'm hungry!

**Zexion:** Go wait in line.

**Xaldin:** You're going to have to wait for quite some time. Axel keeps burning the hotdogs…

**Demyx: **I DON'T CARE WHAT I EAT AS LONG AS I EAT SOMETHING!

**Zexion:** We should feed him. He'll do something crazy… I just know it…

**Demyx:** XALDIN! GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR SPEAR THINGIES!

**Xaldin:** Their lances…

**Demyx:** I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

**Marluxia:** Come on Xaldin! Spread the love!

**Xaldin: **No.

**Demyx:** Give me the lances… I promise I won't do anything absolutely crazy.

**Xaldin:** … Fine… But just this once.

**Demyx:** WAHOO! SOMEONE GET ME SOME MEAT, VEGGIES AND MUSHROOMS!

**Luxord:** Here you go Demyx. Some mushrooms.

**They all look at the drugs in Luxord's hand**

**Demyx: **I don't want mushrooms anymore…

Demyx runs to the grill 

**Demyx: **Move over Axel!

**Axel: **What the hell are you doing? WTF?

**Demyx: **Just wait and watch…

**Axel: **OMFG… You've got to be joking…

**Demyx:** SMELL IT AND WEEP!

The smell of burning meat wafts through the air 

**Xaldin: **WTF? Why'd you make shish kabobs? With my lances at that!

**Demyx:** I was hungry…

**Xaldin:** You promised you wouldn't do anything absolutely crazy!

**Zexion:** Trust me my friend… That's just the icing on the cake…


	3. Chapter 3

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion 

**Title: Weight Problems**

**Featuring: Axel **

**Luxord:** Hey Axel… Why are you so freakishly thin?

**Larxene:** Yeah! What's your secret?

**Everyone stops talking to stare at Axel.**

**Axel:** WHAT? I guess I'm just naturally thin!

**Xemnas: **Axel… Don't be afraid. You can tell us if you have an eating disorder…

**Awkward silence**

**Saix:** Now that you mention it, I've never seen Axel eat at the table…

**Axel: **WTF? I'm not freaking anorexic!

**Lexaeus:** Really…

**Axel: **FOR GOD SAKE PEOPLE! I'M JUST NATURALLY THIN! I EAT FAST!

**Vexen:** Why are we wasting this time at the meeting to discuss Axel's waist level?

**All except Vexen and Axel:** WHO ASKED YOU?

**Zexion:** What did you eat yesterday for breakfast?

**Axel:** Ice cream but I don't see how this important…

**Zexion:** Lunch?

**Axel:** Ice cream but how is this related to the meeting?

**Zexion:** Dinner?

**Axel: **I give up… Ice cream…

**Demyx:** SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS ON EATING ALL THE ICE CREAM!

**Axel:** Oh stop being so jealous…


	4. Chapter 4

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Boredom 

**Featuring: Vexen**

**Xemnas: **Okay everyone. I'm willing to give this box of sea salt ice cream to the person who's most bored and can prove it.

**All except Xemnas: **The hell?

**Xemnas:** Just do it for the ice cream.

**Xigbar: **I was so bored that I drank three bottles of beer.

**Xemnas:** You do that all the time.

**Xaldin:** I was so bored that I drank three bottles of shoe polish.

**Xemnas:** You do that all the time too…

**Demyx:**Oh I know! I know! I was so bored that I ate last years Halloween candy!

**Everyone except Demyx:** O.o

**Lexaeus: **That explains why you were constipated…

**Zexion: **I read three Italian dictionaries today…

**Xemnas:** Nah.

**Marluxia:** I eat grass sometimes.

**Xemnas:** NO MARLUXIA THAT WON'T WORK AGAIN.

**Axel:** I'm so bored sometimes that I dress up as Britney Spears and then go to the bar to have some fun.

**Everyone except Axel:** O.o

**Xemnas: **I think we have a winner.

**Annoying beeping tune plays in the background.**

**Xemnas:** What the hell is that infernal noise?

**All point to Vexen.**

**Vexen:** Don't mind me… I'm just trying to beat level 99 in my Tetris game…

**Zexion: **Uh Vexen… There is no level 100 in Tetris…

**Vexen:** WTF? YOU MEAN I SPENT FIFTEEN HOURS TRYING TO GET TO A LEVEL THAT NEVER EXISTED?

**Zexion:** Uh… yeah.

**Xemnas:** Vexen. You officially have a lot of time on your hands. And a box of ice cream.

**Vexen:** Huh?


	5. Chapter 5

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Anagrams 

**Featuring: Lexaeus, Xigbar**

**Lexaeus:** I love word puzzles…

Xigbar: Oh? Well what's an anagram for tea bag? Lexaeus: Bea tag. Xigbar: Drag queen? Lexaeus: Dang rueeq. 

**Xigbar: **What's a rueeq?

**Lexaeus: **It's some swear word…

Xigbar: You probably just made that up… 

**Lexaeus:** I didn't…

Xemnas walks in 

**Xigbar: **Yeah well how about—XEMNAS!

**Lexaeus:** MANSEX!

**Xemnas: **Pardon me?

**Lexaeus:** … Shit…


	6. Chapter 6

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion 

**Title: Gay Transsexuals**

**Featuring: Marluxia, Saix**

**Marluxia:** Lala la laluh!

**Saix:** Are you freaking gay?

**Marluxia:** NO…

**Saix:** So what's with the humming?

**Marluxia: **I just like humming while I water my plants.

**Saix: **And you say you're not gay…

**Marluxia:** LOOK! IF I WERE GAY WOULD I HAVE A SCYTHE?

**Saix:** Well it's pink…

**Marluxia:** AARRRRGH!

**Saix:** Well I've come to the conclusion that you're not gay…

**Marluxia:** Thank god!

**Saix:** You water plants, Have long brown hair, Have a pink scythe and you hum. YOU MUST BE A TRANS!

**Marluxia:** You've got to be kidding me…

**Saix:** Well you could've chosen a manly color! Like blue for instance!

**Marluxia:** I for one like my feminine side…

**Saix: **HA! PROOF! IF THAT ISN'T PROOF THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion 

**Title: Turkeys**

**Featuring: Luxord, Vexen, Larxene**

**Luxord:** Hey Marluxia you want to make a deal?

**Marluxia:** What is this 'deal'?

**Luxord:** Bet you ninety munny that Larxene's going to ask Vexen why he acts like an idiot.

**Marluxia: **Why not.

**Larxene: **Vexen… Why do…

**Luxord: **Yes…

**Larxene:** …People consider that you act like a complete and utter turkey sometimes?

**Vexen: **WTF? I DO NOT ACT LIKE A TURKEY YOU INDIGNANT FREAKS! WHO THE FRIG SAID THAT? I'M GOING TO SKIN THEIR SKINNY LITTLE BEHIND!

**Luxord:** NO! NOO! NOOOOO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING! NOOOO!

**Vexen: **What the hell? Wait a minute… IS THAT MOTOR OIL ON YOUR HANDS? HAVE YOU BEEN GOING THROUGH MY LABS?

**Larxene:** Have I just been the source of another bet?

Vexen and Larxene start chasing Luxord 

**Marluxia: **I want my munny…


	8. Chapter 8

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Waffles Featuring: Xemnas, Vexen 

**Xemnas: **…Vexen, What are you eating?

**Vexen:** It's called a waffle. It's a bit burnt—Axel's turn to make breakfast…

**Xemnas:** I see…

Silence fills the room 

**Demyx:** WAFFLE IS A FUNNY WORD!

More silence 

**Vexen:** He's right you know…

**Xemnas:** Waffle… Wa-fle… WAH—FULL… He's right…. Waffle is a funny word…

Crickets chirp 

**Demyx:** God you people are boring!

Demyx leaves 

**Vexen:** He's left…

**Xemnas:** WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE!

**Vexen:** Oh yeah? Well… WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE, WAFFLE!

**Xemnas:** Oh it's on!


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Evil Plot Bunnies 

**Featuring: Xemnas, Evil Plot Bunny**

**Xemnas:** I'm sorry for everything I've done to try and bend that puny spiky headed freak Sora's will for plans of world domination. I really am. Forgive me please.

**EPB:** He says he's sorry but is he?

**Xemnas:** Okay we went over this a million times in the past two hours. Now let me out of here.

**EPB:** Has he really learnt his lesson?

**Xemnas:** Demyx you can let me out. I've had enough of this 'conscience talks back' thing.

**EPB:** Are you talking about that guy?

Points to unconscious form of Demyx. **Xemnas: **Are you really a plot bunny? **EPB:** Pleased to meet'cha too! **Xemnas:** Shit. **EPB:** I am from now on your conscience. **Xemnas:** Double shit. **EPB:** I also happen to know about that incident in the shower two years ago… **Xemnas:** The gods are shitting on my head like birds. Curses foiled again. 


	10. Chapter 10

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion 

**Title: Badminton**

**Featuring: Larxene, Luxord**

**Larxene:** You know this all started with a harmless game of badminton…

_Luxord gasps for air as Larxene strangles him._

**Larxene:** But you just _had_ to hit the birdie into the Superior's room.

_Luxord gasps for air as Larxene continues to strangle him._

**Larxene:** ALONG WITH THE OTHER SIXTY-FIVE!

Luxord's eyes start to bulge 

**Larxene:** Of course I'm not angry. Do I seem angry to you?

**Luxord:** DOES IT SEEM LIKE I CARE! GOD WOMAN I'M DYING HERE AND DO YOU CARE?

**Larxene:** Nope.

**Luxord:** GOD YOU ARE SUCH A… meep… That was the wrong answer wasn't it?

Larxene cracks knuckles 

**Larxene:** It all started with a harmless game of badminton…


	11. Chapter 11

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion NOTE: This too was written in sacred smelly grape marker. BE GRATEFUL. Title: Fleas Featuring: Saix, Axel, Demyx Axel: SAIX HAS FLEAS! 

**Demyx:** SAIX HAS FLEAS!

Axel: SAIX HAS FLEAS! 

**Demyx:** SAIX HAS FLEAS!

Axel: SAIX HAS FLEAS! 

**Demyx:** SAIX HAS FLEAS!

Axel: SAIX HAS FLEAS! 

**Demyx:** SAIX HAS FLEAS!

**Saix:** WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP! I DO NOT HAVE FLEAS.

Rest of the organization is watching amusedly 

**Axel:** THAN EXPLAIN THE FLEA SHAMPOO!

**Demyx:** AND YOU'RE ONLINE SUBSCRIPTION TO 'How to deal with fleas' HMM?

**Saix:** … We are going to have a very long talk.

Saix drags Axel and Demyx outside 

**Axel:** Oh.

**Demyx:** Ohh.

**Axel:** OHHHHHHHHH.

**Demyx:** OHHHHHHHHHH.

**Saix:** SHUT UP ALREADY!

_Silence._

**Demyx:** SAIX IS AN ELF!


	12. Chapter 12

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion NOTE: This chapter was written in smelly grape marker at 2:04 in the morning. Be grateful that I even considered using the sacred smelly grape marker on something like this. In the morning at that. BE GRATEFUL. Title: Smelly Grape Marker 

**Featuring: Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen**

**Xemnas:** Which one of you left this _abomination_ in my office?

_Holds up a purple marker_

**Demyx: **MY MARKER! YAY YOU FOUND IT! GIVE IT BACK!

**Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen:** DON'T!

**Demyx:** B-but… YOU GUYS ARE MEANIES!

Runs out crying 

**Xemnas:** Do you know what the plumbing bill's going to be now?

**Xigbar:** It was worth it.

**Xaldin:** Well worth it.

**Xemnas:** Tell that to my bank account.

**Vexen:** Just uncap the marker and… sniff.

_Mass quantity of sniffs are heard._

**Xigbar:** See! It's like crack in a marker!

**Xemnas:** It does make one feel… floaty inside.

**Vexen:** How one is to contain the scent of heaven in a simple writing utensil I still am trying to figure out.

**Xaldin:** Who cares?

_More sniffing. Marker is suddenly snatched away._

**Demyx:** IT'S MINE YOU FOOLS! ALL MINE!

_Extra long sniff._


	13. Chapter 13

I'm back. The end. And I didn't bring anything with me. Not even the rights to Kingdom Hearts.

NOTE: This chapter explains why no one has seen Roxas NOTE#2: Killers of the Dawn does not exist. If it does then I do not own it. Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Ignorance is NOT a Bliss 

**Featuring:** **Roxas**

Roxas is in the kitchen eating ice cream 

**Xigbar:** Hey Xaldin! Thanks for taking out the ice cream for me!

Snatches away ice cream 

**Xaldin:** No problem.

**Roxas: **…

Later 

**Roxas is watching T.V.**

**Larxene:** Hey everybody look! It's the new episode of Killers of the Dawn!

Everybody crowds around the T.V and Roxas can't see 

**Roxas: **… Uh guys…

Later 

**Roxas:** … Why are you in my room Marluxia?

**Marluxia:** Now that Roxas has disappeared I can take his prized nacho stash! The fool doesn't know the worth of this stuff…

Snatches nachos away 

**Roxas:** I was eating those you know…

Later 

**Roxas:** Hey Demyx can I borrow your DDR game, I've been –

**Demyx:** Axel!!! Let's go play this DDR game that I got!

**A few minutes later**

**Axel:** You know it really is a shame Roxas isn't here. He'd really love this game.

**Demyx: **Yeah… I wonder where he's been all these days. It's like he's disappeared or something.

**Roxas: **…I'm right here…

**Axel:** It's like he doesn't want to be our friend any more…

**Demyx:** He could have at least sent a postcard…

**Roxas:** …

**Demyx:** I bet he's having the time of his life where he is.

**Axel:** Lucky duck must be eating ice cream, watching cartoons, establishing a nacho stash and playing DDR right now… I'm jealous.

**Roxas:** …

Later at the meeting Xemnas: I have gathered you all here today to discuss the current dilemma with our thirteenth member. 

**Roxas:** Finally!!!

**Xemnas:** Now that he has left there is the matter of the possessions he has left behind. Now that he's gone I'm sure he won't need them any more.

**Zexion:** I call his vintage set of 'War and Peace' the deluxe edition.

**Saix:** I claim his rack of Tibetan shrunken heads.

**Roxas:** …

**Larxene:** I want the three-inch plasma screen!

**Demyx: **I want his stuffed animals!

**Vexen:** I'm taking his Vista brand laptop.

**Roxas:** … THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! You can take my ice cream, you can steal the T.V., You can take my nacho stash, and you can blow me off from DDR but you cannot, and absolutely WILL NOT, KICK ME OUT!

**Axel:** Can I have his pet shadow heartless Sparky?

**Roxas:** I hate you guys… I really do…

**Luxord:** Now don't be selfish number thirteen…

**+Glower+Glower+Glower+ **


	14. Chapter 14

WALA WALA HOO HAH HA! I don't own KH2. Oh well. PAH-TEY PEOPLE!

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Golden Spatula Featuring: 

**Xemnas:** I PRESENT YOU IN ALL ITS FORMER GLORY THE GOLDEN…

**Demyx: **SPATULA!

**Crickets chirp.**

**Demyx:** WHAT? It's catchy!

**Axel:** Yeah… You gotta admit it's better then golden… eggbeater…

**Vexen: **SHUT UP NUMBER EIGHT! IT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF AT THE TIME!

**Larxene:** Well then you suck at this sort of stuff.

**Xigbar:** He'd probably name his own children Vexen's kid number 1 and Vexen's kid number 2 and etc.

**Marluxia:** If he ever had kids…

A few minutes later 

**Xemnas:** NO DEMYX THIS ISN'T A CHEW TOY YOU FOOL!

**Demyx:** BUT I WANT IT!

**Xemnas:** SOMEONE GO INCAPITATE NUMBER NINE!

Rest of the Organization XIII is just watching amusedly 

**Xemnas:** PLEASE!

**Saix:** Well since he said please…

**Lexaeus:** … And we're such nice people…

**Zexion:** No.

**Demyx:** GIVE ME THE SPATULA!

**Vexen:** EGGBEATER FOOL!

**Luxord:** SPATULA!

**Chaos ensues, Xaldin walk in and snatches away spatula.**

**Xaldin:** Have you guys been going through my kitchen utensils again? God I've been looking for this since yesterday. Don't touch the spatula!

**Vexen:** EGGBEATER!


	15. Chapter 15

YUSH! I'VE FINALLY FOUND INSPIRATION! IT WAS IN… THE SPRITE! IT TOLD ME OF ALL THE WONDERFUL CRACK ASS CHAPTERS I COULD WRITE FOR THIS FIC! Unfortunately it didn't tell me a way to plot out a way to gain the KH2 rights… Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Soup Featuring: Demyx, Zexion 

**Zexion:** Demyx. Stop playing with the soup.

**Demyx:** No!

**Zexion:** Demyx. Stop making the soup fly around.

**Demyx:** No!

**Zexion:** Demyx. Stop making mini forms of yourself in the soup. It's just gross.

**Demyx:** No!

**Zexion:** … Demyx… Stop playing with the soup and get rid of it already!

**Larxene:** Someone's mighty PMS'y today.

**Demyx:** Ha! Take that!

Throws spoon of soup at Zexion 

**Zexion:** Demyx…

**Xaldin:** Okay that's just disgusting. I've told you countless times to stay out of my kitchen and that goes for the leftover garbage too!

**Zexion: **What the hell do you think I've been trying to do for five hours?

**Xaldin:** Demyx. Get out of the garbage can and do NOT stick that spoon of cabbage/bean/tomato/who knows what else soup into your mouth.

**Demyx:** No!

**Shoves spoon into mouth**

**Larxene:** Oh god… I think something just died inside of me…


	16. Chapter 16

There was a very thin chicken at the market and we took him home for a pet. We named him Paulo and fattened him up and then we ripped out his guts. NOTE: NOT A TRUE STORY. In the previous life I owned KH2. NOTE: NOT A TRUE STORY.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Come any closer… Featuring: Zexion going through his… phase. 

**Demyx:** Hiya Zexion! How are ooh?

Translation: Hello Zexion! How are you? 

**Zexion:** Stay away from me!

Translation: Get away from me freak of nature. (At least that's how Demyx hears it)

**Demyx:** Wuzza matter Zexion?

**Translation:** **What's the matter Zexion?**

**Zexion: **You come any closer and I'll stab myself with this knife!

Holds knife up menacingly 

**Demyx:** O.o

Translation: ……WAH!!! 

**Zexion:** I'll do it! I really will!

Translation: I'm turning into an attention seeker! I really am! 

**Demyx:** AXEL! ZEXION'S TURNING EMO!

Notice that 'Axel' is the equivalent to 'Mommy'… 

**Axel:** What the hell Demyx?

Notice that Axel responds… 

**Zexion:** DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! I'LL HYPERVENTILATE MYSELF TO DEATH IF I HAVE TO!

**Did he just say he'd **_**breathe**_** himself to death?**

**Axel:** Oh I see. Don't mind him Demyx he's just going through his time of the month.

**Zexion:** IF YOU SPREAD ANY OF THAT SHIT ABOUT ME AGAIN AXEL I WILL RIP YOUR HANDS OFF AND USE THEM TO DIG MY THROAT OUT!

Quite the imagination there eh? 

**Axel:** Ooh… That's nasty.

**Demyx:** Meep…

**Zexion:** I'LL DO IT! I REALLY WILL!


	17. Chapter 17

Notice how most of these chapters are based on food? Don't ask what this is about. JUST DON'T ASK. LMAO. XDXDXD! Me no own KH2. No-no KH2 rights.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Frothing Broth Featuring: Axel on… broth? 

**Axel:** THE BROTH IS IN OUR VEINS!

**Xigbar:** You're joking right Axel?

**Axel:** MAY THE BROTH BE WITH YOU!

**Xigbar:** Shut up Axel…

**Axel:** RUDOLPH THE BROTHING REINDEER HAD A VERY BROTHING NOSE!

**Xigbar:** I get it! You want broth!

**Axel:** BROTHDROPS ARE FALLING ON MY HEAD!

Twenty hours of 'broth' quotes later 

**Luxord:** Worse then swearing, worse then calling -!!!

**Zexion:** What the fuck Axel?

**Axel:** +Giggle+ He's brothing.

**Points to frothing Xigbar.**

**Luxord/Zexion:** O.o

**Axel:** +Giggle+ Broth.


	18. Chapter 18

I LOVE YOU GUYS! GIVE ME HUGS EVERYONE! Why? CUZ' I'M A LOVER AND A FIGHTER SO DEAL WITH IT! Now give me hug. Okay now calmly and quietly give me the rights to KH2 so I don't have to go through the trouble of doing it myself.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: Fireworks Featuring: Axel, Demyx 

**Axel:** I can't believe you stuck fireworks up the Superiors nose.

**Demyx:** I can't believe you lit them.

**Axel:** I can't believe he didn't wake up.

**Demyx:** I can't believe you wanted him to.

**Axel:** I can't believe you stuck more fireworks up his nose again after that.

**Demyx:** I can't believe you lit them again.

**Xemnas:** Oh yes… but I woke up this time didn't I?

**Axel/Demyx:** MEEP!


	19. Chapter 19

I got kicked out of daycare! I told the little kids that I killed pooh bear and they all started to cry so I was called an irresponsible caretaker. Unfortunately it didn't lead me to a way to gaining the KH2 rights… Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion 

**NOTE: **I AM SO SO SORRY! I wrote the full chapter but then something went flooey and erased half of it. I've fixed it so don't worry.

Title: GET OFF MY FOOT! Featuring: Xigbar, Xemnas, 

**Xemnas:** GET OFF MY FOOT!!!

Shakes foot menacingly 

**Xigbar:** Eh heh he heh!!!

**Xemnas:** GET OFF MY FOOT NUMBER TWO!

**Xigbar:** Fine, fine…

Lets go of foot and walks away 

**Xigbar:** DEMYX! IT'S YOUR TURN!

**Xemnas:** No… YOU ARE NOT PLAYING THAT 'HANG ONTO THE SUPERIOR'S FOOT' GAME ARE YOU?

**Demyx: **WHEE!

Title: The conversation that happened five minutes ago Featuring: Xigbar, Demyx, Axel 

**Xigbar:** Okay here's the plan. We hang onto the Superior's foot for each for one week. I'll go first, any questions?

**Axel:** Yeah… Can I burn his foot? Make it all… lumpy?

**Xigbar:** No. I don't want any lawsuits to be filed against me for your pig headed mistakes.

**Demyx:** WHEE!


	20. Chapter 20

Hey there! I'm back (Finally)! You know there are times when – PEN TO THE HEAD+Throws pen at your head+ There are times when we need to just calm down and breathe? Yeah well – JAVELIN+Throws another pen at your head+ Well I CAN'T DO THAT WHENEVER I THINK OF THE RIGHTS TO KH2!

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: THE SKY IS FALLING Featuring: Marluxia (Because I see him in a new light)… (Kind of) Marluxia is pruning roses when something falls onto his head 

**Marluxia:** OH MY GOD. THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

Runs up to Larxene 

**Marluxia:** LARXENE! THE SKY IS FALLING!

Shakes Larxene violently by the shoulders 

**Larxene:** WTF? Get away from me you weirdo!

Stabs Marluxia in the head 

**Marluxia runs away with blood spurting out of his head**

**Marluxia:** ZEXION! THE SKY IS FALLING!

Breathes heavily while taking a break from waving his arms 

**Zexion: **You're… bleeding…

**Marluxia:** IT'S JUST BLOOD! HOW CAN YOU CARE ABOUT BLOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS? THE SKY IS FALLING!

Runs away 

**Zexion:** O…kay…

**Marluxia:** AXEL! THE SKY IS FALLING!

**Axel:** WTH? IT IS? OH MY GOD! EVERYONE PACK YOUR BAGS THE SKY IS – Waitaminute… That's bird shit on your head you idiot…


	21. Chapter 21

I got kicked out of daycare! I told the little kids that I killed pooh bear and they all started to cry so I was called an irresponsible caretaker. Unfortunately it didn't lead me to a way to gaining the KH2 rights… Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion Title: The Cotton Candy Incident Featuring: Demyx, Zexion, Axel and Roxas when he was still here. 

**Demyx:** AXEL! COTTON CANDY TASTES LIKE CHERRIES!

**Axel:** …?

Later in some other area 

**Demyx:** ROXAS! COTTON CANDY TASTES LIKE CHERRIES!

**Roxas:** WTF?

Later in some other area 

**Demyx:** ZEXION! COTTON CANDY TASTES LIKE –

**Zexion:** Cherries. I know. That's what Marluxia's hair dye smells like.

**Demyx:** How do you know what – Why is your hair pink – OH MY GOD!

Where Axel was 

**Demyx:** OH MY GOD! AXEL! ZEXION'S HAIR IS PINK!

**Axel:** O.o?

Where Roxas was 

**Demyx: **OH MY GOD! ROXAS! ZEXION'S HAIR IS PINK!

**Roxas:** …The hell?

**Over the P.A. system: **ZEXION'S HAIR IS PINK!!!

**Zexion:** I'm gonna kill him…


	22. Chapter 22

I'M BACK! YAHOO! WOOHOO! LALA PALLOOOOZAXASD JAYERS! YEAH! I TOTALLY DO NOT OWN KH2 RIGHTS! …Damn

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion

Title: Giveaway Conscience Featuring: Lexaeus 

Demyx and Axel run up to Lexaeus and slap something onto his back, laughing like hell.

**Lexaeus:** What the hell?

**Axel:** It's nothing really! We were just seeing if you had a firm spine!

Later Lexaeus is with Saix 

**Saix:** Lexaeus go to Vexen

Later with Vexen 

**Vexen:** Lexaeus go to Zexion

Later with Zexion 

**Zexion:** Lexaeus go to Luxord

Later with Luxord 

**Luxord:** Lexaeus go to Xigbar

Later with Xigbar 

**Xigbar:** Go find Marluxia

Later with Marluxia 

**Marluxia:** Go to Xaldin

**Later with Xaldin**

**Xaldin:** Go find Larxene

Later with Larxene 

**Larxene:** Go find Axel

**Later with Axel**

**Axel and Demyx are sniggering so hard they're falling onto the ground. Axel can't speak properly.**

**Axel:** Lexaeus… go look…

Is succumbed by laughter 

**Axel:** Go look… at the… paper

Continues to laugh even harder 

**Axel:** The paper… on your… back…

WHAT WAS ON LEXAEUS' BACK GIVEAWAY CONSCIENCE 

**YOU CAN GIVE HIM AWAY TO WHOEVER YOU LIKE**

**HE WON'T COMPLAIN**

**HE WON'T TALK!**

**HE'S THE GIVEAWAY CONSCIENCE!!!**

The next day on Lexaeus' back LIMITED EDITION! USE NOW WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE! 


	23. Chapter 23

Okay… MAJOR PROBLEM! I'm running low on ideas – Just send me random love and stuff will you? In reviews or PM's I really don't care at this point. Plus I don't own KH2.

Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion

Title: Counting Sheep Featuring: Vexen 

**Demyx:** Vexen! Vexen! Vexen!

**Vexen:** What?

**(He's grumpy because he hasn't had coffee yet)**

**Demyx:** I was just wondering… what do sheep count if they can't sleep?

**Vexen:** What kind of stupid question is that? Get out you idiot!

Demyx runs away crying 

**Vexen: **I mean it's obvious what sheep count when they can't sleep, they count –

Pause 

**Vexen:** I KNOW THE ANSWER! I… I just haven't figure it out yet…

Four hours later 

**Vexen: **WHAT DO THEY COUNT WHEN THEY SLEEP?

Axel strolls in 

**Vexen:** AXEL!

**Axel:** VEXEN!

**Vexen:** AXEL!

**Axel:** WHY ARE WE YELLING EACH OTHER'S NAMES OUT?

**Vexen:** What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

Axel stares for a minute and then sniggers 

**Axel:** Kinda obvious…

**Vexen:** TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!

**Axel:** Well when sheep can't sleep they count…

**Vexen:** YES? YES?

**Axel:** … To tell the truth I really don't know either…

**NOTE FROM AUTHOR:** This is a really easy answer – When sheep can't sleep they count cows.


	24. Chapter 24

Hey – I love you guys for all your support; I've been in the hospital for some check ups so I may not be updating that fast

Hey – I love you guys for all your support; I've been in the hospital for some check ups so I may not be updating that fast. Plus I don't own KH2.

**Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion**

**Title: GO SNARF MY PLATYPUS**

**Featuring: Xigbar, Luxord**

**Xigbar:** Don't do this. You don't want to do this. I will rip you into tiny shreds that shall become the fake cheese that they process in those tiny little lunch boxes.

**Luxord:** It's your fault, mate – You thought you could win.

**Luxord shuffles cards**

**Xigbar:** BUT YOU'RE A CARD GENIUS.

**Luxord:** AND WE WERE PLAYING CHARADES.

**Xigbar: **… This will never be mentioned again.

**Luxord:** As long as you pay up what you owe.

**Xigbar:** You cheated!

**Luxord coughs.**

**Luxord:** It's not my fault you aren't literate –

**Xigbar: **THE PHRASE WAS 'GO SNARF MY PLATYPUS.'

**Luxord:** And you tried to act out 'Go jiggle my ostrich.'

**Xigbar:** ...SNARF ISN'T A WORD.

**Luxord:** …C'mon – you're going to have to give up custody in a few weeks anyways – You can't baby sit the golden spatula forever you know.

**NOTE:** I've got to give some credit to Xejicka who inspired this idea – I was going to do poker but when I play poker I'm vicious – And I had no idea if other's would know the terms I knew.


	25. Chapter 25

Agh - Stupid shaking lights...

**Random Conversations In Castle Oblivion**

**Title:** Atomic Boobs  
**Featuring:** Demyx, Drunk Luxord, Xaldin

**Luxord:** AHAHA - AND OFF TO CHEERIO WORLD WE GO!

**Demyx:** WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**Luxord:** WE GET THREE GRAPES FOR EVERY FUZZY PENCIL WE SHAVE!

**Xaldin:** ... Luxord, why are you -

**Demyx:** ATOMIC BOOBS!

_Points at Luxord's chest._

**Xaldin:** HOW SMASHED ARE YOU TWO?

**Demyx:** But they're pointy...

**Xaldin:** WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

**Luxord:** And then... hic... I flashed the queen...

_Larxene storms in. Double take._

**Larxene:** ... WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY UNDERWIRE BRA?

**Demyx**: ATOMIC BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!

Credit to: The Happy Spatula, because this was funny.


End file.
